Yes, you read that right. Not all dreams come true. Some do, but in all honesty, most don't. And I don't see that as being a bad thing. Even when you've had a dream for a very long time, and become very attached to the idea of that dream coming to fruition, it's not always in the best interest for that to happen.
When I was young, literally from as far back as I can remember, I had a dream. Some of my earliest memories include my dad taking me out for late night drives. We lived in Colorado Springs, and he would take me out on Rampart Range Road, just to the west of town, and we'd just pull over and get out of the car. Beneath us to the east, we could see the lights from the city. To the west was Pikes Peak and the front range of the Rockies. But it was what was up above that fascinated me the most. It was the reason for these night drives. The stars. At that time, many years ago, Colorado Springs wasn't nearly as big as it is is now. And from out there, we were far enough away from the city lights that we could see everything. I couldn't believe how many stars there were. And, of course, the Milky Way in all her beauty. And I fell in love. After a while, Dad gave me my first pair of binoculars. Then, my first telescope. I was hooked. This was my life. This is what I wanted to spend the rest of my life learning about. Science and math were my favorite subjects in school, and Dad was always talking to me about the stars and planets. He was/is a major science buff, too. The day reality started to hit was January 28, 1986. I was in 7th grade. I went to school like any other day. I made it to lunch, and then went into the library. It was then that I saw the news. The space shuttle Challenger had exploded during liftoff. I cried. Oh, how I cried! I ended up going home early from school that day because I just simply couldn't stop crying. The next morning, I got up early to watch the news before school. I had to know what had happened. As I sat there watching, I heard my mom in the kitchen, talking to my dad. Ok, talking may not be the best word. She was something close to hysterical. "And this is what she wants to do?! This is what you're encouraging her to do?! She could lose her life! Why can't she just be happy growing up and getting a desk job?" Dad just let her go. She had no idea I could hear her. To this day, I don't think she knows. But it lit an even bigger fire inside me. Now, I knew beyond any doubt that I had to do this. There are always setbacks in life. The growth comes when you deal with the problems and setbacks, learn from them, and make things better. I knew I'd never be happy in a "desk job". I had to fly. I had to go into space. By high school, I was well on my way. My bedroom, contrary to most teenage girls, was covered in pictures of planets, and models of jets, space shuttles and such. I knew there were two possible ways of getting me into space the fastest: 1) be a trained pilot with the Air Force, and 2) get a degree in either planetary sciences or astrophysics (or anything else along those lines), and be the brightest "up and comer" in my field in order to earn a seat on a flight. So, I applied at both the Air Force Academy and at MIT. I just knew that those were my two best options. And guess what. I was accepted to both. I was thrilled beyond belief! But then, something happened. I met someone. I met the man that would end up being my first husband. He, and his family, were so very intoxicating. I don't think they really knew much about what they were talking about most of the time. But boy, could they sell it. It was mesmerizing. Every last one of them was gifted with the cliche' of being able to sell ice to an eskimo. And I got sucked in. I was told all about how evil the military is, so I could absolutely NOT go into the Air Force. At the same time, science was not part of what God wanted for good Christians to be involved in (at the time, I was devout in my Christianity). Well, there went MIT. The only thing, according to them, that a good woman of God could do, was to marry a good man of God, and follow him and support him wherever he went. I was heartbroken. But I honestly believed that God was asking me to sacrifice my dream (which I had now been convinced was really evil) and to become a housewife. I tried to make peace with the idea that this should be my new dream. While this man and his family had been amazing in their skills of persuasion, I cannot blame any of them for my choice. It was, after all, my choice. I could have walked away and gone on following the path I was originally heading. But I chose not to. It didn't feel like a choice at the time. It felt more like imprisonment. But, it was a choice. A few years down the road, we split. I couldn't take the control and manipulation anymore. Nor could I take the constant comparing me to others, and belittling me. So once again, I tried to find a new dream.
Looking back now, I still love space. I still dream of the stars, and one day, traveling among them. But I also can see how I wouldn't be the person I am had I followed that path. I went through years of depression, asking myself over and over again, why it happened. How could I have held onto a dream through tragedy, only to let it go to give someone else satisfaction? That depression led me into my second less than ideal marriage. But I learned so much about myself through all of that, that even if I could go back and change things, I wouldn't. I may not ever have all the answers. But I know that had I followed that path, I wouldn't be happy. There are things about myself that I may not have realized otherwise. My life now, though far from being perfect, is happy. It's scary, and some days, I feel completely lost and have absolutely no idea which way to turn. But at my core, I am happy. My dreams are now focused on helping humanity, and helping all life on this planet that we call home.
Now I'm going to tell you something that I know there are many who would disagree with me on. I've read and studied a lot about manifesting what you want. I believe and support that whole-heartedly. At least to a certain extent. I've heard it said that in order to manifest your desires, you must see it in your mind's eye with as much clarity and detail as you possibly can. The more detail you can give to that picture, the more of a reality it will become. I have a slightly different view of that. You see, I don't believe that going into that much detail is going to provide you with anything other than additional heartache, pain, and disappointment. Why? Because first of all, when you start to give detail like that to a dream, then you start placing specific people inside that dream with you. If you are working with another person, and your dreams are aligned, that might not be an issue. But what about dreaming of the person you would like to be your partner, if you aren't currently with a partner yet? Then, what you are doing is trespassing into any area of free will. Think about it for a moment. You want more than anything to be with a specific person, and you spend as much time and energy as you can possibly muster into attempting to manifest a future of the two of you together. At the same time, that person may very well be that attached to being with someone completely different. So who's dream would manifest? I don't know, but I wouldn't want to find out. In that scenario, someone is bound to be disappointed that there own version of a dream didn't come to fruition. I don't know about you, but I would prefer to NOT be with someone who doesn't really want to be with me. That doesn't seem like much of a dream worth aspiring to. Even if your dream doesn't include a specific person, there could very easily be aspects to the finer details of your dream that would cause more damage than any good they could possibly do. I, personally, believe that God/Goddess/Creator/Source/Universe, or whatever name you give to it, knows a whole lot more than any of us. They know what is the best way for us to be able to grow and ultimately reach our dreams. So don't focus on the details. Instead, focus on the feelings, the emotions. When you reach your dream, how are you going to feel? Are you going to feel peaceful? Content? Grateful? Focus on that. Focus on those feelings. Believe that everything is already in place for you to experience those feelings. Leave the details to Universe, and just focus on the feelings. The rest will come how and when it is supossed to.
Dream. And dream big. But don't be so attached to those dreams that there's no room for growth. Don't be so attached to the end result that you forget to live and learn. I'm a big believer in the idea that you get back what you put out there. Put out the positive energy. But the flip side of that is don't forget about the negative. Don't dwell on it, but you must allow those thoughts to come through. You have to allow yourself to feel the hurt that inevitably comes. If you don't allow yourself that, you will never truly be able to appreciate the good. You won't be able to grow and learn to those deeper levels. You won't be able to empathize with others who are suffering. Things are going to happen in life that you don't want. Some dreams may get sidelined, either by yourself, other people, or circumstances. Now I'm not saying that you should go out and look for trouble. I'm not saying to purposely stay in a bad situation. I'm saying, start from where you are. Start from this moment, this time, this place, this emotion, this situation. Be flexible. Learn, and use that knowledge to grow. Turn the knowledge and experience into wisdom - the wisdom to not repeat the same mistakes; the wisdom to not allow yourself to enter the same bad situation again; the wisdom to not surround yourself with the same type of people and situations that caused you pain in the first place; the wisdom to truly know yourself. Not all dreams come true. And it's ok. Don't be afraid to change your dream. It's never too late to dream a new dream. Just don't stop dreaming.
