Hardbound

We've all heard the saying that we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, right? It's easy to assume or pass judgement on someone based on appearances.  I think we've all been on both the giving and receiving ends at one time of another. I get it a lot for a lot of different reasons.  Most recently, in having a conversation with my best friend, I was reminded that quite often, people have a tendency to think of me as flighty, or air-headed, or flaky. I've had people make that assumption about me for as long as I can remember.  I can see how that assumption could be made.  Naturally, my hair is blonde.  When I was little, it was REALLY blonde.  It gradually started getting darker as I got older.  Then in college, I started coloring it.  It's been just about every color under the rainbow since then, and I honestly can't tell you what the natural color of my hair is at this exact moment.  I really don't know why blonde hair automatically leads to an assumption of lower IQ.  But we all know it does.  On top of that, there's the fact that I'm really into crystals, incense, herbs, meditation, spirituality, alternative healing techniques, etc.  And while those (I don't think) imply any kind of stupidity, for some reason, society in general seems to take that to mean that someone just isn't quite right in the head... has a few screws loose, bats in the bellfry, lights on but nobody's home, yada yada yada).  I'd like to think that's changing as time goes by, but it could easily just be that I have more accepting and like-minded people in my close circle.  But what my friend mentioned to me was that people see that, because often, it looks outwardly like I don't take things very seriously, and don't think too deeply about things.  The truth of the matter, and she can attest to this, the reason it appears that way is because I have SO much going on in my head all the time. I'm always trying to see things from different angles, and I'm constantly so lost in deep thought that it's extremely hard for me to articulate it.  In fact, if I do get really involved in a conversation, I have a tendency to yawn.... a LOT.  People generally take this as I'm bored or don't care about the conversation, when it's actually the exact opposite.  My brain is just going so fast, it need more oxygen, I suppose.  I absolutely adore math and science, and had always planned on making that my life's work.  But things happened and I never followed that path.  History (ancient, not so much modern history), archaeology, geology, art, music...... all very deep passions of mine.  I'm constantly studying and researching.  I don't know how anyone can not want to learn new things.  It's almost like an insatiable hunger for me.  Several years ago, I was diagnosed as having ADHD.  They tried putting me on drugs, but all it did was depress me.  So I quit taking them.  This is why traditional meditation is so difficult for me.  I have a very hard time quieting my mind down enough to be able to relax.  But I've found other was to meditate that work beautifully for me.  I've lost out on some of what I think could have been absolutely amazing friendships over the years, because someone couldn't see past the outer cover.  If only they would have taken the time to get to know me, ask me questions, REALLY talk to me..... I wonder.  At the same time, I do not like superficiality.  It feels like acid to my soul.  So if someone can't or won't take the time to see the real me, who's loss is it really?  Maybe both.  I'm no better than they are.  We're all human.  Maybe they have a hard time connecting to people, too.  Or maybe they connect in a different way.  My point is this:  move past the outer layers of appearance.  Go deeper.  You never know.  You may just find gold under that hardcover.