Cynicism

Sometimes I wonder what makes a person cynical.  Now, you can be cynical about just about anything.  Whether it's about politics, religion, relationships, or whatever one of a hundred other things you can possibly think of.  Tonight, I want to address cynicism in regards to relationships, specifically, the romantic kind.  I think it's pretty safe to say that we've all been hurt at one point or another, to one degree of another.  And it doesn't matter if it was with your parents, siblings, friends, significant others.... it's all pain, just the same.  I've had my own share of heartbreak.  Who hasn't, right?  I would dare say that most, if not all, of us have had at least one relationship break up.  But what makes the difference between a heartbreak that ends in giving up on love altogether, and a heartbreak that ends in a heart growing ever bigger to love even more?  Is there really a difference in the intensity of pain?  Or is it all in the way it's all perceived by the one who's been hurt?  Is physical abuse more significant than emotional or mental abuse?  I don't know.  I've never been physically abused, so I can't make a personal comparison.  But I do know emotional and mental abuse.  The scars are different.  They heal differently.  They can all have long lasting effects on our psyche.  I'm grateful that I have not been on the receiving end of physical abuse.  I would like to say that it's easier to deal with than emotional abuse.  But I can't.  The visible scars and wounds may heal faster, but that doesn't make the pain any less significant.  But what about a relationship that is nothing but lies?  What about the cheaters?  What about the ones that just leave, never having said a word?  Are the wounds any less painful?  Honestly, I think it depends on the person, the situation..... every one is different.  I could easily just give up and say to hell with love, especially after two failed marriages.  And yet something inside me simply can't give up.  I can't walk away.  I know.... I don't believe..... I KNOW that true love does exist.  I've seen it in action.  That's not to say that the relationship won't have it's share of problems.  But with true love, I think it becomes more important that the problems be faced head-on, worked through.  I've seen true love face unimaginable odds.... the kinds of things that would break up most couples.... and yet here, the relationship comes out so much stronger than it was before.  And that's saying a lot considering that it was pretty strong to begin with.  I must confess, I don't understand the love cynic.  In my mind, in my heart and soul, I simply can't give up.  I'm not saying that it's a guarantee that I'll find that true love.  I really don't think that there are any guarantees like that.  And yet, if I give up on the search, I know in my heart that I may just end up missing out on something truly amazing.  I am much wiser than I was when I entered my past relationships.  Maybe that's the whole purpose of having relationships that do end.  I now know what I do and don't want.  I now know what I will and will not put up with.  My eyes are most definitely much wider open now.  But I also know that I won't settle for anything less than true love.  If for whatever reason I don't find it in this lifetime, then I will live my life surrounded by my friends and family, and still have an amazing life of my own.  And maybe in the next life.... maybe then, I will find that love.